Hats off to Monday's Mania
Saving the world before bedtime on Tuesday
(Campaigning. oh so exciting. to see the faces of many friends plastered across the many corridors, to hear the songs echoing throughout the school blocks, to see shamelessness written over the faces of many - and some green paint as well heh - to laugh and to play along. to put up fake campaigns - Leon the Peon most notably - to put up our crazy fronts, and just to have fun. But beyond all that. I'm still unsure of who to vote.)
Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
the Lord's love. brighter than any sunshine. the greatest sunshine. You alone light up our lives and give us our direction in the murky dark.
In sooth I know not why I am so sad -
Indeed, O sadness where is thy sting? - when we have the joy of the Lord in our hearts. (: It's been a long Week 2, we're halfway through - o how shockingly fast time passes - lots of issues have been resolved within (hopefully) and now God has illuminated my path - the path to follow is the path of love, to love his people. I've been really quite joyful recently. and wow - that despite all the stuff that's bothering me.
Lord Lord, Wherefore art thou Lord?
and we continue searching, all of us. my prayer life hasn't been the most healthy, but I do pray that God will draw us all nearer to him. 'Drawing Near' John Bevere - a series has started on it - may it be a great encouragement and loving message to all who yearn and trust in him (: Meanwhile, Lord help me to rely on you even as I search earnestly, may I worship with my heart - not just empty words.
that is all. adieu. may God bless all of you.
on a rather strange note. things have been a little strange. some fish behind my back - some random whispers along the corridor - some ginseng - some hello panda - and some excited murmurs from behind. confusion ensues. but God is faithful.
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
Sunday, March 25, 2007
Permanganates
135%, Chem practical took forever to decipher, three hours to unravel, mystery still, and I remain puzzled. permanganate stains on striped ties. titration blues. but we overcome them together. now, before I degenerate into some homework discussion, I abstain. But even on this lonely Sunday night, I type here, and wait upon the many who rush out their homework, msn conversations pop up intermittently with many questions on this and that.
ah. nothing better than a homework help dispenser machine - again.
but that aside. it's been a long time since the last post. lots has happened, the first week of term two has passed - sigh, it feels as if term one never ended - chong(2)qing(4) the destination for our WOW trip - excitingly so. and after the brief confusion on wednesday, i emerged quite full of joy for the next few days. Allister's prayer meeting and all. Friday's late Admin room night with - horror of horrors - Audrey and Emil (haha). Lugging my fantabulously heavy KORG keyboard and going through the muscle workout of a lifetime.
Unite the Christian community in ACS. Let's unite our hearts together for our God and King.
50 push-ups on Saturday. 4 years of long-service to Boys' Brigade. less than 8 hours of sleep. I now I'm finally at my strength's end, and I retire. Vision's becoming blurry. too much computer.
to all my BB friends, keep praying for the LTC camp. keep praying that God will command you to Himself.
and to end off. the regret of not spending enough time with some people. the frustration of balancing the old and the new (oh if only it were as easy of chemical equations in stoichiometry). But resources - time and energy - are scarce. the problem of scarcity ensues.
that aside. I promise to spend more time with you (:
and with God as well. surely.
ah. nothing better than a homework help dispenser machine - again.
but that aside. it's been a long time since the last post. lots has happened, the first week of term two has passed - sigh, it feels as if term one never ended - chong(2)qing(4) the destination for our WOW trip - excitingly so. and after the brief confusion on wednesday, i emerged quite full of joy for the next few days. Allister's prayer meeting and all. Friday's late Admin room night with - horror of horrors - Audrey and Emil (haha). Lugging my fantabulously heavy KORG keyboard and going through the muscle workout of a lifetime.
Unite the Christian community in ACS. Let's unite our hearts together for our God and King.
50 push-ups on Saturday. 4 years of long-service to Boys' Brigade. less than 8 hours of sleep. I now I'm finally at my strength's end, and I retire. Vision's becoming blurry. too much computer.
to all my BB friends, keep praying for the LTC camp. keep praying that God will command you to Himself.
and to end off. the regret of not spending enough time with some people. the frustration of balancing the old and the new (oh if only it were as easy of chemical equations in stoichiometry). But resources - time and energy - are scarce. the problem of scarcity ensues.
that aside. I promise to spend more time with you (:
and with God as well. surely.
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
There's a man
there. somewhere behind you. he's looking at you, sneaking a peek now and then. loving you, and loving the way you were perfectly made.
He just gazes upon you, remembering the many blessings he's showered you with, the love which he gave so unconditionally. he wishes you knew.
and he simply wants to draw nearer. showering more gifts. giving more of his time. trying to love you more, trying to get your attention. that you might look back and give him a smile.
and when you smile - he smiles. he's so happy you're happy. yet he hopes - still hopes - that one day you'll smile back at him and love him in return.
and still he waits. sometimes you overlook him. sometimes you unintentionally brush past him. sometimes you intentionally avoid him. but he keeps loving, no matter what the cost. irregardless.
why. why such a fool. because he simply can't help but love.
and when you do smile in return. when one day you realise his love and come running back. he's always ready to receive. and simply overjoyed to see you loving him too.
it's what he has been waiting for.
and this man. is God. He waits for you today -
- to love Him in return. for He has loved you so greatly.
He's missing you.
...
-= MISSING YOU =-
on a lonely day
He just gazes upon you, remembering the many blessings he's showered you with, the love which he gave so unconditionally. he wishes you knew.
and he simply wants to draw nearer. showering more gifts. giving more of his time. trying to love you more, trying to get your attention. that you might look back and give him a smile.
and when you smile - he smiles. he's so happy you're happy. yet he hopes - still hopes - that one day you'll smile back at him and love him in return.
and still he waits. sometimes you overlook him. sometimes you unintentionally brush past him. sometimes you intentionally avoid him. but he keeps loving, no matter what the cost. irregardless.
why. why such a fool. because he simply can't help but love.
and when you do smile in return. when one day you realise his love and come running back. he's always ready to receive. and simply overjoyed to see you loving him too.
it's what he has been waiting for.
and this man. is God. He waits for you today -
- to love Him in return. for He has loved you so greatly.
He's missing you.
...
-= MISSING YOU =-
on a lonely day
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Streams of Living Water
the MOE building was rather drab, nothing like the several kilometers of beautiful morning scenery that greeted me on my fresh walk from school. images of Nazneen in Brick Lane flashed before me - Grey, prison-like glass and metal - impersonal. not a smile. the only smile was on my I/C - Which was promptly traded for a visitor's pass - and that didn't even count as a smile.
three people sat before me. the center one quite unnerving - probably the interrogator i thought - the two at the side slightly easier to please (or at least that was the impression). tough questions. what was my greatest setback? and at points I felt like I was seriously selling myself - putting myself on the shelf, dressing myself in pretty little colors and hoping to be bought. and horrors of horrors I revealed that I wrote poetry - and I recited The Greater Sunshine to them - and bore my soul basically ):
Streams of living water. I've been told to guard our well-spring of life. To be careful what wells up from within. James Chapter 3 has somewhere that a spring cannot have fresh water and salt water at the same time. What emerges from within reflects our inner state. Hold your tongue, tame it, a lot of bad has happened with it. Yet in the same passage, I was reminded that the same tongue can start a fire, with a simple spark of goodness.
I was told. 5 loaves 2 fishes fed a thousand. a spark can become a fire. faith as a mustard seed can grow into a majestic tree. I was told that God can do these things. And I believed.
and I recall a Sunday where we were tracting to invite people to the lovely Fairfield Preaching Point, and I saw the face of Jesus - in a man sitting alone at the side of the MRT station. the trains roared on the deck above, and this man sat there lonely and indulging in whatever lunch-break he had. something drew me near. and I crouched beside him. my cousin gave me a wild look. but it would be fine. God called me there i guess.
Mr Huang was his name, a cleaner from China, daughter had married a local chap. and his son-in-law was a Christian - he had seen a cross before, hanging in the house of his now married daughter - but he had never heard the gospel. And so that day, on this cardboard box he had in front of him, i whipped out my stationery and told him the story of creation, the fall of man, and our redemption through Christ's sacrifice. no way I could have done it alone - God's inspiration - you take the glory Lord.
Prayed for a man I knew for only a few minutes. wrote on a box words that I pray will change his life...ahhh. God do your work now (: it's your job now Lord (:
three people sat before me. the center one quite unnerving - probably the interrogator i thought - the two at the side slightly easier to please (or at least that was the impression). tough questions. what was my greatest setback? and at points I felt like I was seriously selling myself - putting myself on the shelf, dressing myself in pretty little colors and hoping to be bought. and horrors of horrors I revealed that I wrote poetry - and I recited The Greater Sunshine to them - and bore my soul basically ):
Streams of living water. I've been told to guard our well-spring of life. To be careful what wells up from within. James Chapter 3 has somewhere that a spring cannot have fresh water and salt water at the same time. What emerges from within reflects our inner state. Hold your tongue, tame it, a lot of bad has happened with it. Yet in the same passage, I was reminded that the same tongue can start a fire, with a simple spark of goodness.
I was told. 5 loaves 2 fishes fed a thousand. a spark can become a fire. faith as a mustard seed can grow into a majestic tree. I was told that God can do these things. And I believed.
and I recall a Sunday where we were tracting to invite people to the lovely Fairfield Preaching Point, and I saw the face of Jesus - in a man sitting alone at the side of the MRT station. the trains roared on the deck above, and this man sat there lonely and indulging in whatever lunch-break he had. something drew me near. and I crouched beside him. my cousin gave me a wild look. but it would be fine. God called me there i guess.
Mr Huang was his name, a cleaner from China, daughter had married a local chap. and his son-in-law was a Christian - he had seen a cross before, hanging in the house of his now married daughter - but he had never heard the gospel. And so that day, on this cardboard box he had in front of him, i whipped out my stationery and told him the story of creation, the fall of man, and our redemption through Christ's sacrifice. no way I could have done it alone - God's inspiration - you take the glory Lord.
Prayed for a man I knew for only a few minutes. wrote on a box words that I pray will change his life...ahhh. God do your work now (: it's your job now Lord (:
Sunday, March 18, 2007
Music of the Night
ahhh. just (most unlike of tim) watched 'Phantom of the Opera' , I think I'm (most like tim) going to cry or something ):
then i always wonder. why do tears come so easily? maybe it's just me.
some are tears of unmeasurable joy - tears that come from knowing that we are so beautifully and wonderfully loved by our creator king. tears that flow endlessly when we realize, in awe, the depth of the Father's love for us. tears that find their beginnings in a guilty heart forgiven. tears simply dripping with gratitude. I love those tears, those precious tears.
then there are tears of pain - tears that come from struggling, struggling to find that person that cares, that voice that understands. tears the flow endlessly when we shut ourselves out from people who truly love us. tears that find their beginnings in - sometimes - stupidity, when we are blind to the love of the Father. Tears that are simply dripping with the will to surrender. I treasure those tears, yet wonder why I ever experienced them.
and there are tears of just deep senses of emotion. when a beautiful sunset paints the sky red. when the snowflakes flutter down to caress your head in the midst of the valley white. when one sits upon a great hill and marvels at creation. when one parts. when one meets. unforgettable tears.
then again. one quarter of the term has pass. i tell myself, when the time comes to part, i will let them flow.
looking back on sad times - we often laugh for having been so blind
looking back on happy times - we often tear for - - forever...
Oh God lead me on. may those who earnestly seek You always be filled with joy and satisfaction (:
then i always wonder. why do tears come so easily? maybe it's just me.
some are tears of unmeasurable joy - tears that come from knowing that we are so beautifully and wonderfully loved by our creator king. tears that flow endlessly when we realize, in awe, the depth of the Father's love for us. tears that find their beginnings in a guilty heart forgiven. tears simply dripping with gratitude. I love those tears, those precious tears.
then there are tears of pain - tears that come from struggling, struggling to find that person that cares, that voice that understands. tears the flow endlessly when we shut ourselves out from people who truly love us. tears that find their beginnings in - sometimes - stupidity, when we are blind to the love of the Father. Tears that are simply dripping with the will to surrender. I treasure those tears, yet wonder why I ever experienced them.
and there are tears of just deep senses of emotion. when a beautiful sunset paints the sky red. when the snowflakes flutter down to caress your head in the midst of the valley white. when one sits upon a great hill and marvels at creation. when one parts. when one meets. unforgettable tears.
then again. one quarter of the term has pass. i tell myself, when the time comes to part, i will let them flow.
looking back on sad times - we often laugh for having been so blind
looking back on happy times - we often tear for - - forever...
Oh God lead me on. may those who earnestly seek You always be filled with joy and satisfaction (:
Saturday, March 17, 2007
The Desert
I often wonder - why the sudden bouts of dryness?
Maybe it's just the weather. when skies are sunny, emotions run high and positively ecstatic. when clouds start to gather, so worries start to cloud the heart. sunset - peace. thunderstorms - awe. drizzles - contemplation. but it cannot just be the weather.
human effort alone does nothing to get us to God. perhaps, just perhaps, trying too hard has left me drier than what I began with. the natural inclination when one faces disappointment - to reprimand oneself, to condemn oneself, such is the sharp conscience that I possess - curse or blessing, i wonder as well. it cuts deep.
but God always reminds me that he is sufficient. he is all i need. saved by grace and nothing else. all i need to do is accept what he is offering. why am i trying so hard? it's so painful.
perhaps God pulls himself a little further every time he wants us to draw nearer to him. sometimes he whispers from afar - we cannot hear him - but that's just because he wants us to draw nearer. perhaps.
nevertheless, despite the disappointment experienced today - lots of it - mentorship scheme left hanging, and (of all things) parade forecast was left at home. no qualms about defaulters, i think my conscience and all has already left me in shambles - worse than any defaulters' could ever do.
but somehow God always manages to pick me up. to confess of my sin. to come to him helpless as a child needing a father. and to be picked up by him. wow.
and he beckons to all who are thirsty to go to him and drink of the living water. and then streams of abundance will also flow out of him into the rest of the world...ahhh. help me experience that - no - help me know that Lord. experience is so transient - knowledge is what I hope for Lord :)
Maybe it's just the weather. when skies are sunny, emotions run high and positively ecstatic. when clouds start to gather, so worries start to cloud the heart. sunset - peace. thunderstorms - awe. drizzles - contemplation. but it cannot just be the weather.
human effort alone does nothing to get us to God. perhaps, just perhaps, trying too hard has left me drier than what I began with. the natural inclination when one faces disappointment - to reprimand oneself, to condemn oneself, such is the sharp conscience that I possess - curse or blessing, i wonder as well. it cuts deep.
but God always reminds me that he is sufficient. he is all i need. saved by grace and nothing else. all i need to do is accept what he is offering. why am i trying so hard? it's so painful.
perhaps God pulls himself a little further every time he wants us to draw nearer to him. sometimes he whispers from afar - we cannot hear him - but that's just because he wants us to draw nearer. perhaps.
nevertheless, despite the disappointment experienced today - lots of it - mentorship scheme left hanging, and (of all things) parade forecast was left at home. no qualms about defaulters, i think my conscience and all has already left me in shambles - worse than any defaulters' could ever do.
but somehow God always manages to pick me up. to confess of my sin. to come to him helpless as a child needing a father. and to be picked up by him. wow.
and he beckons to all who are thirsty to go to him and drink of the living water. and then streams of abundance will also flow out of him into the rest of the world...ahhh. help me experience that - no - help me know that Lord. experience is so transient - knowledge is what I hope for Lord :)
A Greater Song
I see the heavens proclaiming You day after day
and I know in my heart that there must be a way
to sing a greater song
a greater song for You on the earth
to sing a greater song
a greater song for You on the earth
Right now, reclining in the back of my computer chair, past midnight, a busy day, a tiring day, have you ever had that sense of lostness after a long day of being with friends and company? Have you ever felt that sudden sense of emptiness once the CPA curtains close with a bang (and a rather needed school anthem)? Have you ever felt a sense of loneliness once the crowds disperse and the dust settles?
Tim has. and sometimes Tim chooses to cover his ears, block out the sounds of the world, and recline into silence - not emo - but simply a point to recharge and focus back on God. As a self-proclaimed introvert, perhaps Tim draws strength sometimes from just being alone - with his Father in heaven. Just singing, and just praising Him.
Today was another rather tough day, but Tim is glad that God has seen him through it, and there is still joy brimming from within. No more sadness, no more sadness. Soccer, Black Comedy, Friends and God - enough reasons to smile :):):)
and tomorrow. de-day arrives. CE presentation. May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable to you, oh God my song and my salvation!
and I know in my heart that there must be a way
to sing a greater song
a greater song for You on the earth
to sing a greater song
a greater song for You on the earth
Right now, reclining in the back of my computer chair, past midnight, a busy day, a tiring day, have you ever had that sense of lostness after a long day of being with friends and company? Have you ever felt that sudden sense of emptiness once the CPA curtains close with a bang (and a rather needed school anthem)? Have you ever felt a sense of loneliness once the crowds disperse and the dust settles?
Tim has. and sometimes Tim chooses to cover his ears, block out the sounds of the world, and recline into silence - not emo - but simply a point to recharge and focus back on God. As a self-proclaimed introvert, perhaps Tim draws strength sometimes from just being alone - with his Father in heaven. Just singing, and just praising Him.
Today was another rather tough day, but Tim is glad that God has seen him through it, and there is still joy brimming from within. No more sadness, no more sadness. Soccer, Black Comedy, Friends and God - enough reasons to smile :):):)
and tomorrow. de-day arrives. CE presentation. May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable to you, oh God my song and my salvation!
Thursday, March 15, 2007
Thy Word - a LAMP unto my feet
The Greater Sunshine
Tim - on a sunny day
I found one day this sunshine
That would not go away;
Twas Innocence that led me
To bask in its array.
Then chancing on this honey pot
That left itself ajar;
Twas Innocence that led me
To push - albeit too far.
But there's a greater sunshine
Why can't I taste and see?
That there's a Loving Father
Who yearns to care for me.
Then Truth found me one day, at last (Alas!)
I knew not what to say
To part was such sweet sorrow -
But it's Him who leads the way.
But there's a greater sunshine - we need to experience this greater warmth and greater love - from the one and only God above!
Primer's Vision: keep staying in God's love, keep experiencing it. And once we love him, we answer that question from John 21:15. And we're going to feed Jesus' Lambs!
Sleepover at XL's place was quite a traumatic experience at times - being interrogated whilst squashed by a giant beanbag chair, being tau-poked by my jolly friends while half asleep...I guess it was all enjoyable. :)
Thank You God. and again we rejoice!
Tim - on a sunny day
I found one day this sunshine
That would not go away;
Twas Innocence that led me
To bask in its array.
Then chancing on this honey pot
That left itself ajar;
Twas Innocence that led me
To push - albeit too far.
But there's a greater sunshine
Why can't I taste and see?
That there's a Loving Father
Who yearns to care for me.
Then Truth found me one day, at last (Alas!)
I knew not what to say
To part was such sweet sorrow -
But it's Him who leads the way.
...
rather sad blog of mine.LAMP, despite it's dull moments, was never short of some enlightening moments - and after LAMP fellowship was always just as worth it - a shocking reminder of the little time left I have with my friends and classmates. Today I lay down with John Tay and lamented (in the usual way we nostalgic, sentimental people do) at the passing of time - such a recurring theme, on this
But there's a greater sunshine - we need to experience this greater warmth and greater love - from the one and only God above!
"As My Father has loved me, so I have loved you; abide in my love"
"and this is my commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you"John 15:9, 12
Primer's Vision: keep staying in God's love, keep experiencing it. And once we love him, we answer that question from John 21:15. And we're going to feed Jesus' Lambs!
Sleepover at XL's place was quite a traumatic experience at times - being interrogated whilst squashed by a giant beanbag chair, being tau-poked by my jolly friends while half asleep...I guess it was all enjoyable. :)
Thank You God. and again we rejoice!
Sunday, March 11, 2007
I Knew It
Tim really cannot hide a secret.
Tim really cannot mask his emotions as well.
That Friday afternoon I felt rather defeated, white space culminated with the piling on of two more rather tedious Chinese comparison analysis essays, my mind did degenerate into one big white space. White noise - blankness - and I just submerged into that endless oblivion of wondering why everything had just befallen me. Maybe it was because I fell asleep doing QT the previous night.
No it was more than that - as I later confided with John - physical stress (tiredness), emotional stress (rather tricky this one) and academic stress (overload for the rather short Week 11 of school).
Thursday - the day before. Wanting to continue the art class ministry eventually ended up almost losing my mind over some unresolved matter. I ran off to the circular classroom where Mr Goh (my teacher for a week) has his math class - I ran there for it was dark, it was cold and metallic, glassy, and when you said anything, it echoed throughout. And know-wonder people have been saying that I'm getting very emo.
And I have decided to turn over a new leaf - thanks to much support from my fellow brothers and sisters beside me...aww thanks for the note on Saturday Kenneth, much appreciated and much love in return - though i know you hate that soppy stuff. That was my emotional first aid - ah...first aid, we did teach the Sec 2s first aid. And I had my dose of being a drill instructor :)
and thank God, who has been asking me to rest in Him. Though He feels so far away sometimes, oh Lord u made me a person dependent on senses and experience, and now you're teaching me not to rely on those senses - how painful, but how essential, be ever so real to me Lord!
Chamber chamber. I did enjoy it. But I was quite tired as well. and the music was rather therapeutic. Not a worthy critic, so silence is golden :)
work work. at least the hols will be busy.
Tim really cannot mask his emotions as well.
That Friday afternoon I felt rather defeated, white space culminated with the piling on of two more rather tedious Chinese comparison analysis essays, my mind did degenerate into one big white space. White noise - blankness - and I just submerged into that endless oblivion of wondering why everything had just befallen me. Maybe it was because I fell asleep doing QT the previous night.
No it was more than that - as I later confided with John - physical stress (tiredness), emotional stress (rather tricky this one) and academic stress (overload for the rather short Week 11 of school).
Thursday - the day before. Wanting to continue the art class ministry eventually ended up almost losing my mind over some unresolved matter. I ran off to the circular classroom where Mr Goh (my teacher for a week) has his math class - I ran there for it was dark, it was cold and metallic, glassy, and when you said anything, it echoed throughout. And know-wonder people have been saying that I'm getting very emo.
And I have decided to turn over a new leaf - thanks to much support from my fellow brothers and sisters beside me...aww thanks for the note on Saturday Kenneth, much appreciated and much love in return - though i know you hate that soppy stuff. That was my emotional first aid - ah...first aid, we did teach the Sec 2s first aid. And I had my dose of being a drill instructor :)
and thank God, who has been asking me to rest in Him. Though He feels so far away sometimes, oh Lord u made me a person dependent on senses and experience, and now you're teaching me not to rely on those senses - how painful, but how essential, be ever so real to me Lord!
Chamber chamber. I did enjoy it. But I was quite tired as well. and the music was rather therapeutic. Not a worthy critic, so silence is golden :)
work work. at least the hols will be busy.
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
Something Eternal
It's been a long time. Regretably, I probably haven't done much for the past week - little witnessing, little serious talk about Christ with people - and I do feel a little guilty for having let God down. Two weeks ago we found ourselves at that fateful art lesson, tomorrow will be another similar day. For the past weeks, it's been sowing of seeds, and more seeds, and I've talked to many people - but haven't focused particularly on one.
Meanwhile - FireAC swells in size again - new faces appearing, and the new arrangement of a large circle serving to produce this rather encouraging trend. The focus has been love - God's love - which is greater than any human love, touching any heart with divine ease. I've realised His love for me, despite the weaknesses and shortcomings, despite my lack of passion (perhaps) in the past week. I really want God to work through me again.
I guess sometimes we tend to be a little hard on ourselves...just because we haven't accomplished anything gargantuan does not mean we haven't blessed others with the joy and love of the Lord. Our tiny little acts of kindness and love can go a long way.
JAE results came out. And great joy ensued as we realised all the BB people were staying. Still, there were some who could not remain, and for these people we prayed a prayer of comfort and of faith in the sovereignty of our Great Shepherd. I thank God greatly - overflowing - and overflowing yet again! Let me keep singing for You my Father! Neverending praise!
Why this is shaping up to be a joyful post :). It's been a long time too since a geniunely happy post - thankfully God has provided people alongside me during this time of need :). But even without these people, I guess He is more than enough for any one of us.
This is our call - to realise our Father's great love for every one of us. He made you just the way he wanted to - and you're perfect in His wonderful sight! all of you.
keep smiling :)
Meanwhile - FireAC swells in size again - new faces appearing, and the new arrangement of a large circle serving to produce this rather encouraging trend. The focus has been love - God's love - which is greater than any human love, touching any heart with divine ease. I've realised His love for me, despite the weaknesses and shortcomings, despite my lack of passion (perhaps) in the past week. I really want God to work through me again.
I guess sometimes we tend to be a little hard on ourselves...just because we haven't accomplished anything gargantuan does not mean we haven't blessed others with the joy and love of the Lord. Our tiny little acts of kindness and love can go a long way.
JAE results came out. And great joy ensued as we realised all the BB people were staying. Still, there were some who could not remain, and for these people we prayed a prayer of comfort and of faith in the sovereignty of our Great Shepherd. I thank God greatly - overflowing - and overflowing yet again! Let me keep singing for You my Father! Neverending praise!
Why this is shaping up to be a joyful post :). It's been a long time too since a geniunely happy post - thankfully God has provided people alongside me during this time of need :). But even without these people, I guess He is more than enough for any one of us.
This is our call - to realise our Father's great love for every one of us. He made you just the way he wanted to - and you're perfect in His wonderful sight! all of you.
keep smiling :)
Monday, March 05, 2007
Teaser
Unseen hands that fumbled below
Searched - and found that damned curse
Unseen tears that fought so hard
Fought to naught, struggled, distraught
Somewhere in that groping dark
Lies a child, a silhouette quickly disappearing
Forbidden, but his fingers wander in - then his body -
Confused, but passions ensue within
At last - Clothed with ecstasy, moans of intense glee!
Release - finally let loose - a butterfly set free.
But dreams too are fleeting - and he knows
he is no winged beauty.
Endless chasing
Unseen torment
Guilt.
If some day you were to venture
Past his closet doors, sneak a peek
Some fleshless smile would greet
Skeletons - there at your feet.
...
and after all the teasing, I wonder how many of us actually know his past, his painful past fraught with guilt and pains - and I wonder how many of us can truly understand - perhaps there is none - save for a Father I know from above. Those were trying times, and what came out of it was a dark but powerful testimony.
This is by no means an 'emo' post. Recall that Tim is almost always happy. :) no worries there. Just a fleeting thought. And perhaps 'Dead Poet's Society' has inspired me to more poetry - what powerful devices they are - and what rich outlets for unmeasurable emotions!
Meanwhile, despite certain thoughts and confusions, I thank God for His undying faithfulness. Kenneth commented on FireAC attendance rising a little - perhaps - numbers don't matter but, It is really encouraging :)
GAE - oops - edit: JAE tomorrow, perhaps we'll wait first, and write again once the flood of emotion arrives.
Searched - and found that damned curse
Unseen tears that fought so hard
Fought to naught, struggled, distraught
Somewhere in that groping dark
Lies a child, a silhouette quickly disappearing
Forbidden, but his fingers wander in - then his body -
Confused, but passions ensue within
At last - Clothed with ecstasy, moans of intense glee!
Release - finally let loose - a butterfly set free.
But dreams too are fleeting - and he knows
he is no winged beauty.
Endless chasing
Unseen torment
Guilt.
If some day you were to venture
Past his closet doors, sneak a peek
Some fleshless smile would greet
Skeletons - there at your feet.
...
and after all the teasing, I wonder how many of us actually know his past, his painful past fraught with guilt and pains - and I wonder how many of us can truly understand - perhaps there is none - save for a Father I know from above. Those were trying times, and what came out of it was a dark but powerful testimony.
This is by no means an 'emo' post. Recall that Tim is almost always happy. :) no worries there. Just a fleeting thought. And perhaps 'Dead Poet's Society' has inspired me to more poetry - what powerful devices they are - and what rich outlets for unmeasurable emotions!
Meanwhile, despite certain thoughts and confusions, I thank God for His undying faithfulness. Kenneth commented on FireAC attendance rising a little - perhaps - numbers don't matter but, It is really encouraging :)
GAE - oops - edit: JAE tomorrow, perhaps we'll wait first, and write again once the flood of emotion arrives.
Sunday, March 04, 2007
Sky Gazing
-=Ten Minute Sky Poem=-
-John Tay/Benlee/Huang Zi/Tim-
Have you ever talked to the sky?
Gazed at the cool blue, watched the clouds go by
Drift to the heavens - thought of your fantasy guy
---
They tease, they play; You sigh and wonder why
If clouds could frolic all day
Then why not I?
-=A Dark Sky=-
-Tim- inspiration by Mr Charles Ng
The time was nigh
Descent of winged beasts
Ferocious, Devouring
On our livelihood they feast
Broken silence -
A sudden flurry
Unbroken darkness -
There was no hurry
No hurry
Leave us we plead
Haste off and go
Abandon us to mourning
But - alas - pharaoh said no.
Inside every one of us there is a poem just waiting to burst forth - we just need to unleash it, to unleash our emotions upon the literary world - to compose our thoughts and feelings into packets of poetry - ready to make an impact on other people's lives. Every poem like a compressed package of emotions - tagged as 'dangerous' - but delightful to peer into. Mixed emotions ensue.
And perhaps it's just these sudden attacks of emotions unleashed upon me - and I can't help but channel them into poetry - no matter how monstrous the result.
New line - 93206492 - (or expressed in my mind - )
93 - (first four numbers of an A.P) - 92 (aha! which makes it easy to remember!)
Well well. Math beckons. Memories of time spent (wasted) in the admin room yesterday trying to do work - but at least math was easier with the genius seated beside me.
(cries of 'how ironic!' but I'm ignoring...)
Inter Wing Games - adrenaline rush - water bags in hand - we went off. But I spent most of my time tying water bombs anyway - and ended off with a blistering blister! By virtue of the fact that we started the game slightly earlier and could run faster, we managed to secure all three bases and pretty much won the game from the beginning. It was quite well planned I guess, and everyone had a splendid time just bonding away.
Term 1 Week 10 already - and I'm starting to miss school ): We don't have much of school life left...
-John Tay/Benlee/Huang Zi/Tim-
Have you ever talked to the sky?
Gazed at the cool blue, watched the clouds go by
Drift to the heavens - thought of your fantasy guy
---
They tease, they play; You sigh and wonder why
If clouds could frolic all day
Then why not I?
-=A Dark Sky=-
-Tim- inspiration by Mr Charles Ng
The time was nigh
Descent of winged beasts
Ferocious, Devouring
On our livelihood they feast
Broken silence -
A sudden flurry
Unbroken darkness -
There was no hurry
No hurry
Leave us we plead
Haste off and go
Abandon us to mourning
But - alas - pharaoh said no.
...
Inside every one of us there is a poem just waiting to burst forth - we just need to unleash it, to unleash our emotions upon the literary world - to compose our thoughts and feelings into packets of poetry - ready to make an impact on other people's lives. Every poem like a compressed package of emotions - tagged as 'dangerous' - but delightful to peer into. Mixed emotions ensue.
And perhaps it's just these sudden attacks of emotions unleashed upon me - and I can't help but channel them into poetry - no matter how monstrous the result.
New line - 93206492 - (or expressed in my mind - )
93 - (first four numbers of an A.P) - 92 (aha! which makes it easy to remember!)
Well well. Math beckons. Memories of time spent (wasted) in the admin room yesterday trying to do work - but at least math was easier with the genius seated beside me.
(cries of 'how ironic!' but I'm ignoring...)
Inter Wing Games - adrenaline rush - water bags in hand - we went off. But I spent most of my time tying water bombs anyway - and ended off with a blistering blister! By virtue of the fact that we started the game slightly earlier and could run faster, we managed to secure all three bases and pretty much won the game from the beginning. It was quite well planned I guess, and everyone had a splendid time just bonding away.
Term 1 Week 10 already - and I'm starting to miss school ): We don't have much of school life left...
Friday, March 02, 2007
The Bin Speaks
the problem being
filled to the brim
you - never knowing
mine, her or him?
you - never seeing
which belongs to
you - never noticing
the clutter building
up to the ceiling
rubbish is blinding -
it's all confusing.
and when it grips you.
it's just too late.
(cries of 'emo' - I hear you - but what can I say?)
everyone needs love, everyone needs compassion, and the kindness of our Saviour. when there's no one to turn to, we turn to Christ. I've been trying, but the intangibility of it is so tough to grapple with. Sometimes I just cry asking God to be more real in my life - I want to touch, I want to hear, I want to see - O how reliant we are on our senses!
I'm confused. But contented with hiding it. Let it be. Perhaps God will help me resolve this.
But till then. I'll try to remain happy. Bins must always be happy.
filled to the brim
you - never knowing
mine, her or him?
you - never seeing
which belongs to
you - never noticing
the clutter building
up to the ceiling
rubbish is blinding -
it's all confusing.
and when it grips you.
it's just too late.
(cries of 'emo' - I hear you - but what can I say?)
everyone needs love, everyone needs compassion, and the kindness of our Saviour. when there's no one to turn to, we turn to Christ. I've been trying, but the intangibility of it is so tough to grapple with. Sometimes I just cry asking God to be more real in my life - I want to touch, I want to hear, I want to see - O how reliant we are on our senses!
I'm confused. But contented with hiding it. Let it be. Perhaps God will help me resolve this.
But till then. I'll try to remain happy. Bins must always be happy.
Thursday, March 01, 2007
Founder's Day
One. we really messed the marching up.
Two. beginning on the wrong beat of the drums.
Three. Handshakes with our dear opposition MP.
Four. Awards were received - and promptly lost - Language rooms maybe?
Five. Policy Papers must be completed...
Six. Girls in Boys' Brigade. Thanks for spicing us up :)
Seven. The only double-syllable number.
Eight. Finally ate lunch today - fasting was up
Nine. Hopefully we've learned some lessons from the fast.
Ten. Happy birthday ACS!
Jesus, be ever so real to me!
Two. beginning on the wrong beat of the drums.
Three. Handshakes with our dear opposition MP.
Four. Awards were received - and promptly lost - Language rooms maybe?
Five. Policy Papers must be completed...
Six. Girls in Boys' Brigade. Thanks for spicing us up :)
Seven. The only double-syllable number.
Eight. Finally ate lunch today - fasting was up
Nine. Hopefully we've learned some lessons from the fast.
Ten. Happy birthday ACS!
2 Corinthians 5:17
"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!"
"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!"
This verse I recall fondly from the Fairfield Preaching Point 2005 camp - a strong affirmation of our identity in Christ - that of being born again. Of being a new creation in Christ, shedding our old selves and putting on the new robes of righteousness - O what a privilege to be saved!
I often think of butterflies - and butterflies emerging from their cocoons. Splendid array of colors! We'll keep it short this time. Let's be butterflies and show off the splendid grace of our Lord and King. As we flutter through the classroom corridors, may we be a testimony to his glory and grace! That new freedom and life that we have in Christ let us fully embrace and fully enjoy! Fly Away!
I often think of butterflies - and butterflies emerging from their cocoons. Splendid array of colors! We'll keep it short this time. Let's be butterflies and show off the splendid grace of our Lord and King. As we flutter through the classroom corridors, may we be a testimony to his glory and grace! That new freedom and life that we have in Christ let us fully embrace and fully enjoy! Fly Away!
If I were a rainbow, I'd show my colors for You
If I were a songbird, I'd sing my song for You
If I were a songbird, I'd sing my song for You
So beautiful, such a miracle,
That You would give up heaven just for me
All I want to do is fall more and more in love with You
This world doesn't own me anymore
One thing that I do know for sure...
If I were a rainbow, I'd show my colors for You
If I were a songbird, I'd sing my song for You
If I were a butterfly, I'd flutter to the sky for You!
That You would give up heaven just for me
All I want to do is fall more and more in love with You
This world doesn't own me anymore
One thing that I do know for sure...
If I were a rainbow, I'd show my colors for You
If I were a songbird, I'd sing my song for You
If I were a butterfly, I'd flutter to the sky for You!
Jesus, be ever so real to me!
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