Sunday, January 14, 2007

Ministry of Fire

The fellowship of the ring - YMCA stools arranged in a circle, as we stared blankly at each other and awaited the announcement of Primers' post. Earlier that week we had been interviewed in the classic "Moderator, Interrogator, Distractor, Observer" style, we had been thrown into corners and observed like little mice scurrying through a maze for cheese (a rather random thought taken from 'Flowers for Algernon).

To be honest, it was no pleasant surprise when I became chairman for the Christian Education committee. A daunting road lay ahead for me, a daunting, challenging, but possibly rewarding one. Up to now, the only action I've taken is pray. And prayer is ever so important.

Five Loaves and Two fishes. That's all we've got, and that's all God wants from us - our everything. Break us O Lord, that the five thousand may be fed.

And often I question myself on what it means to be broken. How does it feel like to be broken. What breaks? Over time, God has allowed many a better picture of what being broken is all about, and most of us have probably experienced it before. It's the breaking of human will. The surrender of our human desires, and entrusting ourselves completely to God's will. Painful sacrifice of what we've ever wanted - our sinful pleasure, our self-glorification, even our 'good intentions'. No doubt it hurts, and many have cried while being broken (me included), questioning God for why he has to put us through such excruciating trial.

Are we willing to be broken? Are we willing to give up everything for God?

As bread that is broken, use our lives. As wine that is poured out as a willing sacrifice.

And as for tomorrow - Lord guide my lips, and may the Spirit speak - not me - and convict. This I pray earnestly. Amen.

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