ok so today bill chia taught more abt molecules and how they work, and then he said the punchline....'if only things were that simple' and yeah, things got MORE confusing again, chem is so tough lah, we're learning A lvl stuff btw, so that's a consolation if you don't understand a thing.

Btw, Bill chia said sth bout orbitals, so being my usual self, i just get excited coz its interesting, and coz i spent 3 hours plus reading on it while trying to understand the chem ws. Basically i get overexcited, and haolianed, of course i didn't mean to, and i'm sry if i made anyone feel inferior, but i was just excited, you know the kind of feeling you get when you find yourself understanding what you spent so long looking through, yeah just excited, and Justin spoilt it for me...i dunno wad he has against me, i didn't do anything to him lah. this morning he just walked past me from behind while i was walking to sch, didn't even utter a 'hello' or sth, hey at least i'm more friendly right?

Justin has his usual clan of frens, tien, john,elliot, eliel, i'm fine with that, but i dunno why he hates me so much, issit coz i'm smart...? If my 'smartness' makes me such an unfriendly person, i'd rather not be smart you know? Who here thinks i'm haolian or proud, if you do, tell me so i can change, i mean i'm already trying so hard to be modest.....and everyone keeps saying i'm smart, wad' s your problem lah. Justin keeps saying i'm smart for one thing. Today he said 'it'd be better if you shut up...' so yeah i shut up and stopped on the orbitals thing, i offered to teach him, he said he didn't care....what did i do???? Ian says Justin is quite a nice guy, i so sry i can't agree even though i wish i could.....I gave him a lift to the airport that time for the OEP, i try to be nice, and i'm hated even more...its depressing.

If anytime i don't help ppl with their work its coz i'm busy helping someone else, or i'm trying to finish and do work myself, i don't mean to be selfish, its just that i'm busy, so don't get the misconception that i'm ignoring you. And if it means so much to you guys that i don't contribute to class and start making you guys feel inferior, i'll stop.

Nowadays, no one appreciates a curious person, someone interested in learning, yesterday i was asking my couz bout chem and talking about orbitals and all again. She asked me to stop talking bout hwk, oh well, i'm not talking bout hwk, its just interest, that's all. Now i see how much passion can drive you to do, but there are SO many wet blankets out there....

I don't know wad's wrong wif me, but i guess ppl out there know, so you have to tell me, help me to improve as a person so i can be a better friend or sth....i don't know wad to do lah, second time i'm so depressed over this liao.............