Repentance

They say that sin is anything that gets in the way of our relationship with God. Sin is anything that puts God anywhere other than first in our lives. BB today was a solemn event, slow-march aside, dialect lessons aside, it ended on a silent, solemn note - everyone who left the language room that afternoon were stunned with a sense of speechlessness. i for one left absolutely lost for words, and some nagging feeling tugged at my heart.

perhaps it was a sense of sadness - God's sadness - for those who had gone astray. but i always remember that when we return, he runs to us first - God watches from the distance, and His everlasting arms will come ever so close to scoop us up! i thought i had repented lots, and truly, by His grace I have been very much forgiven, very much sanctified - and i guess many would say that tim is so saintly and godly and perfect.

but it's not true. i'm just as weak as all of u. just the same. for all the CE NCO roles that I have been through, for all the worship sessions that I have led, i'm just as weak - if not weaker. all you guys have seen in me so far, is simply God's grace and mercy. nothing more. I'm nothing without Him. absolutely.

and today I found another part of me that had to be dealt with. and i kinda broke over it. was better for a moment i guess. till i realised that it was difficult to let go completely. then of course i got my mum mad over some dinner issue. and again i started to slump into that swamp of depression. aiyoh. the emotional ups and downs are unbearable. i need a firm foundation again. Jesus.

then again. not just me. all of us do