Praise You in This Storm :)

It's been a long time since the last post - as usual the lack of time I have becomes apparent - it's been a struggle to balance school life, friendships and God, but I do thank my Father that He has been there all the way. and life has been so full of happiness recently - I was so afraid I would forget Him.

what happiness. you might ask? plenty. He has blessed plentifully.

Memories from Ubin still tussling about my mind. Recalling the night before, people reiterating the need for a back-up plan, people questioning the protocol if it rained - and I too was slightly worried for the skies seemed primed to darken - but God provided, and it never did rain - not till we were all safely on that bus back to school. And me worrying a few days back that Saturday was coming - yes Saturdays were the climax of depression - but God did a miracle, and Saturday became the pinnacle of joy instead. (:

Somehow the role of PSM fell upon me - fortunately it wasn't a formal parade. but despite less-than-adequate preparation and the prospect of a dry ration lunch - yes the preparations for this was immense, we had peanut butter, oreos, curry puffs (sorry Eryn), you name it - it all turned out to be a fabulous time.

Or course. we had our fair share of casualties. Whilst leading the pack I had the most number of falls (haha the irony - having taught the rest how to use the brakes); MK was severely wounded by the evil mozzies, Alex's bike became twisted. haha, but bad thingies aside. Kenneth learned the ways of biking in a matter of minutes, we had a fantabulous seafood lunch, and Wesley didn't throw up on the bumboat, I won the bike race (haha); and yes, we didn't get lost.

forgive me. I never remember the details. and even if i do, i never have the patience nor the time to type it all out - haha Fab...this is for you to fill in the gaps! - but yes. just thank God. He was there. surely.

---

Returning to the Scout's den (yes we found refuge in rather unexpected places), a sense of sadness did sweep across my heart. I was unsure why. maybe it was God's sadness. But somehow there was a strong need for repentance, and a strong need for us to seek Him.

And 2 a.m. Sunday morn. I awoke to a feeling of fear and uneasiness. The rash that had broke out on my back started to itch - and I went to pray - instinctively. that was when God said - Keep watch that you may not fall into temptation. Keep watch, I may return at anytime. Keep watch for the time is near. The call was so strong. we had to start keeping watch.

the next few days were painfully silent. I recalled falling asleep during QT. and when i managed to kept awake the feeling was odd - it was as if God was sitting in front of me, back faced away, He knew I was there, but just didn't want to give me the hug I so needed. It felt so dry, and I felt so alone. And I searched my heart for something that could have gone amiss. but (in all humility now) I found nothing I could have done wrong.

Unless it was happiness that caused me to gone astray. and like the cat with a tail named 'happiness', perhaps I had reveled and chased happiness too much and had gone in circles. and all i had to do was continue to walk straight, and happiness, like the tail, would follow. but maybe I had put happiness in front of God. or maybe I had put other people in front of Him. God was teaching something. I repented.

Fasting during recess. memories of that fast at the start of the year. the balcony was revisited, and there we mourned again for the presence of our Savior, to return to return. And He spoke of holiness, spoke of the way He had made for us to enter His holy presence (through Jesus), but spoke also of our unwillingness to enter. why?

And today. he spoke again. thank God (:. and He brought to mind 'What a friend we have in Jesus', reminded me that not one of His sheep would ever be plucked from His hand. and that He will bring all his sheep back to him, no matter what. What blessed assurance! John 10:14-30, in case you guys are wondering.

REW followup - people were touched. hopefully. your call now God.
Koinonia - an imminent excitement. come come Lord. come and stir the hearts of men

---

flashback Saturday once again. kenneth, tess and i went to support the OMers; we half-expected a first placing for our dear friends (Jlow, Dan, Jin, Cao, Cherums, Chups), waited in anticipation with a jar of peanut butter to celebrate - but disappointment ensued - and they clinched the silver medal. I recalled that look of dismay, of confusion and lostness, and I could only stand beside them and provide a pat on the back, and the assurance that God was still faithful.

Celebrating disappointment - somehow I expect a similar situation to arise soon when council members are announced - but disappointment is something that should be dealt with by celebration, and thanksgiving to our Father. no matter what the result. there must have been some purpose. definitely some purpose. maybe they were meant to go on OEP after all (:

always always seek God.
always always thank God.
always always love God.
always always love each other

haha. it's so simple (: