Being Away

Being away. Sigh.

From Mother Church. The strangest feeling whenever I return. Mixed emotions: both those of familiarity and those of alienation. Familiar faces, five years down the road, changed but still recognizable. Old friends, separated by circumstances. People whom I would like to know. But it's impossible, it just can't happen. Whatever friendships, fleeting and short-lived. It would be pointless to take the first step when one knows that the second will not come.

Such a feeling I had during church camp, meeting new people was enjoyable, socializing for the first time in a long while was meaningful, but it was but four days. Four short days. And whatever friendships were merely the momentary bright sparks produced by two people crossing paths, and not burning embers that last. All i was left with was an even greater sense of loss and emptiness. Not having something is bad enough. But being away from something after knowing the joy of having it, is more excruciating.

But i guess God has humbled me throughout the years, and kept me focused on Him rather than on the other things in church. In the tiny community at Preaching Point, He has blessed me with an environment free from the temptation of excessive socialization or even that of BGRs and unnecessary distraction. You could see this as a bad thing, but I'd see it as a blessing.

Still I must say that I wish I were back somewhere with a larger pool of people to interact with. But till then, I'd just have to endure and learn how to enjoy (even) the feeling of Being Away.

On another note. Being Away will cause friendships to suffer. Being away too long will cause them to disappear. Being Away from Ding has helped us to appreciate this frienship more. And it is tough maintaining communication even in this age of technology. You see, the problem is never with technology, but with our heart, and how much we treasure the frienship. When there is a will, there is a way. And love can transcend even the Pacific :D

haiz. Being away. Being away. We all have to face it one day...