ummm many days without a post. this is terrible.

emotional problems....you might think, how's it possible that a guy like Tim who has 'got it made' (according to one of the options in the PC thing) can ever score a 38, or have emotional problems for that matter? well truth is it is possible, whether or not the test thingy is a accurate measure of it or not. unfortunately i must confess that i slip into moments of depression.

not like i whip a knife out or do something spectular, or take the lift to the thirteenth floor and jump...but it's just sometimes you think about certain things and it makes ya wanna just cry and ask why. Then again, entertaining such thoughts only results in depression, so i've made a vow to now think of such things again. Depressed about friends...or about social life...or about...well...stuff.

Then recently i realised...it isn't that bad...i've got ppl around who truly love me for who I am. Especially God..Jesus, and the friends that he has given me. Sure i feel like a doormat at times..and sometimes i question the motives of ppl when they are nice to me. I think i just think too much...too much self-pity and useless negative thinking. But that's been dumped today....and i live life looking on it with a new perspective i guess.

I'm introverted...that's wad my parents say, i don't deny it, but i don't agree entirely. But seriously maybe i should stop being a loser GEP who doesn't go out with ppl and start having some sort of social life. Now why would someone not wanna go out with ppl....maybe it's low esteem...so you don't like ppl to look at you or sth...or you just like to do stuff alone...or it's just sian...i don't know...maybe i'm all three. I can't say my esteem is very high...maybe due to the events of the past..sigh

Aren't there things you would like to say but you know you can't say them for the fear of being rejected? i feel that way.