running

and today the commissioning was done. somehow i had no courage to stand yet, till i knew for sure that God was with me; and i kept my eyes closed - no, no i was not going to stand for such a silly reason - it had to be for real, a true passion. and eventually, was compelled, on the brink of tears as thoughts of sacrifice came - and it did get a little wet in the end. casting lots was an equally wrenching process, and i guess, it goes to show that thy will be done (: i wonder i wonder more often than not, on the implications and reasons, but you know. He has plans higher than ours and all (: and that's good enough to know

till then. flame on.