Sunday, June 17, 2007

itchy calamine lotion

like an excommunicated leper i sat aside from the rest on that little venture after youth retreat. youth retreat had been a real refresher - the many hours of rest, recreation and just chat, it all helped to reawaken a tired body - but there were many missed opportunities. so many, and i wish, i wish i had not let them go, i wish i had spoken more to the youths, that i had spent less time on the people i was comfortable with. sigh. but such were the things.

and that day upon returning. it was rather. there was some dilemma. eventually the decision was made. yup at least i got little cheesy-kins back. thanks Kenneth. that day made me realize again that there was one person who deserved my love most, and that was God.

sitting in the multistory carpark on a rainy afternoon. waiting for the thunder to subside (i so fear lightning), there were tears, but not much, still there were tears. i needed to rediscover God again. and yesterday, was a little sine curve, maybe of greater amplitude and given a horizontal stretch of factor half or so, but it was a sine curve. and in a flash of events (much like lightning), emotions went from up to down to up to down to up to down and it was nauseous.

ah ok i don't feel like going on. later.